Alien Abduction!
by Tobirion
Summary: Sick of the city, Cloud Strife moves out to the quiet—and lonely—countryside, the town of Nibelheim. Cloud, along with his cow, Bessie, is promptly abducted by aliens.  Sexy aliens. ASGZC.


**Lol umm. I don't have any excuses for this, it's madness. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. Thanks a million to the lovely Karyukai for help both with the idea and the execution, she beta'd this marvelously. In here somewhere is a hint, a sneak preview at a fic that I've been slowly planning out for about a year! It's sneaky though, I don't expect anyone to get it. :) More Preposterous Persistence next, that's almost finished. Also, Light, if you're reading this-ilu. xD**

**I'd just like to thank all the writers who have been writing ASGZC fics recently. You guys are an inspiration; thanks so much. Anyone interested can visit the C2 "One True Fivesome" (link on my profile) to read all the ASGZC fics we can find. Thank you!**

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><p>Ahh, the countryside.<p>

Fuck the city. He was _done_ with pollution, loud noises, grime and bitchy, self-centered people. Midgar was rank, dirty, filled with crime. He was over it, done for good with all that. The country was different, surrounded by nice, pleasant, simple folk, and farms and stuff. Cloud envisioned himself playing banjos, looking up at the stars, and finding eternal happiness in the farm fields or something.

Because, well. Things had been pretty rough lately. Really rough, Cloud decided as he walked out of his new, small, rickety home.

Midgar had been where he'd lived his whole life. You knew the story: _iiiiin West Midgar, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days— _that's the kind of kid Cloud was. He was used to the hustle and bustle of city life, knew all the popular hangouts, knew all the cool city people. But, then his whole life had gone to shit, and that's how he found himself where he was now, trudging through mud and swatting gnats away from his sweaty neck.

It had been four months ago, almost to the day, that Cloud had broken the news to his parents about being gay, and having a boyfriend. He had found himself out on his ass the next day, stunned, rejected by his family. He had moved in with Reno—his boyfriend at the time—and had gotten by with the comforting words of his friends. It had looked like he was going to get over it.

But then, he and Reno had started fighting. Now that he thought about it, Cloud didn't know why they started hating each other so darn much, but they had, and that's all that mattered, really. He and Reno broke up, Cloud got into some rough patches with some of his old friends, and Cloud... he knew he had to get away.

So, fuck Midgar. He was in a better place. Nibelheim, a small, farmy, nowheresville town, was perfect. Cloud could take his breather. Start over. Relax a little, spend some time with the dirt and the trees and the stinky, fertilized farms. He could find himself again.

Oh, and Bessie.

"Hey Bess," Cloud crooned, opening a thin, wiry gate a good hundred feet away from his house. Bessie, his beloved cow and only company out here in the middle of nowhere, was chewing some grass, as always. Cloud thought she was freaking adorable.

Bessie was a nice cow. Cloud was no cow expert, but he thought so. She had wandered up to his house on the first day of his move, looking confused and lost and cute. He hadn't been able to resist, and now, Bessie was his. He worked hard to make sure she was happy, milked and content.

"How's your day been?" he asked, smiling. It wasn't even lunchtime, yet, so the air, while warm, wasn't stiflingly hot. The transition from Midgar to Nibelheim was a difficult one. There were many things that Cloud still had to get used to, the heat being one, but he was doing okay. He'd pull through.

Bessie let out a loud _moo_, the sound never failing to startle Cloud and make him clap his hands in joy. He felt like a real country bumpkin, and it was a fun feeling. He had even bought some cute plaid shirts in Midgar to complete the look.

Cloud patted her head. "That good, huh?"

Where would he be without Bessie? Even lonelier, that's what. It was hard, being out here by himself. He had no internet, no phone service. He didn't have his parents—they didn't want him, it still hurt so much to think about—and he didn't have his friends, what was left of them. It was just... him and Bessie, roughing it out in Nibelheim. He had neighbors, sure, but they were at least a twenty-five minutes' walk away. The nearest grocery store was half an hour away, driving, and his motorcycle really didn't appreciate all the riding on uneven country roads.

He was a social city boy completely out of his element, but he'd adjust soon enough. Right? Right.

"I love you, Bessie," Cloud murmured, leaning forward to give his pet cow a hug. She mooed again, perhaps in understanding. Perhaps her udder was bothering her, and she wanted to be milked again. Cloud didn't know, but it was comforting all the same.

They stayed like that for a while. Bessie chewed grass, and Cloud leant against her sturdy side, thinking. It was getting hot, and there were bugs everywhere, and cows sort of stunk, but...

...This was nice. Nibelheim was nice. He'd grow to love it out here.

Cloud eventually trekked back to his little house, grabbed a stool and a pail and came back. Milking Bessie was always an adventure. He rolled his designer plaid shirt's sleeves to his elbows, rolled up his form-fitting overalls to his knees and got to work. He knew better than to drink out of the absolutely _hideous_-looking pail. He had been using the milk-ish stuff to water his garden. Seemed to be working.

Afterwards Cloud left a happy Bessie in her pen, promising to come back soon. He poured it all out over his begonias and went inside to clean up. He had electricity at least; there was an air conditioner in one of the windows that was always running.

His home was a small affair. The door opened to a tiny kitchen area, not much more than a fridge, oven and sink. There was a small living room and a bedroom. The bathroom was outside, as well as the shower. Another thing he'd have to get used to. Although small, it was enough, for now.

Some day he'd move back to Midgar. Maybe. He had enough money to pay for food and bills for a long time; he'd had a very successful delivery business. When he felt secure enough, he'd go back. He'd try to make his parents see some sense. He'd fix everything. Just... not right now.

For lunch Cloud fixed himself a few sandwiches and curled up on his couch with a book. He had brought a lot from Midgar, knowing that with the lack of anything else to do around here, he'd be reading a lot. This one was about the great Midgarian Civil War, always an interesting topic. He ate slowly, loving the silence, the peace, the fresh air, the sounds of wildlife outside his window.

Yep, he could definitely grow to love this.

After lunch he tidied up a bit and, pulling on some shorts because it was a lot hotter now, hopped on Fenrir, his bike, and blew Bessie a kiss. "Be back soon!" he called, and sped away.

The fields and rolling hills of this part of the country always stole his breath. It was just so gorgeous—back home everybody flocked to the odd park or two, because any real vegetation and natural growth was so rare. He could look out his windows and never get tired of the view. Traveling on Fenrir was exhilarating. He could go as fast as he wanted—there were no stoplights, no police, no people crossing streets. It was just him, the roar of his bike, and the endless miles of fluffy wheat and corn and grass swaying in the wind.

Nibelheim, the heart of it, was just a few streets with the occasional dingy shop or two. There weren't many people. The ones that were there had either taken to Cloud immediately or dismissed him as _that city-slicker_ and ignored him. That was alright.

The grocery store was nothing like the ones at home but still filled with yummy stuff, Cloud filled his cart with things that would keep for a long while, and some of the basic essentials, like bread and milk (sorry Bessie, but there was no way he was drinking hers). He got in line, giving the teenage girl at the register a charming smile and began putting his things on the conveyor belt. He stopped though, peering off to the side—there were those wacky tabloid magazines in a stack, and the one on top made him laugh.

_ALIENS STOLE MY BREASTS_, the cover screamed in large, bold print. There was a picture of a woman holding her chest and screaming. Some freaky big-eyed alien stood next to her, reaching out like some extraterrestrial pervert. Okaaaay then. Cloud snorted in disbelief and paid for the rest of his things. When you lived out in the country, he supposed, there wasn't much to keep you occupied, so you came up with crazy things like that. Aliens. Psssh.

"Have a good day," the girl chimed, and Cloud smiled at her. He stopped in a different store to pick up some hair-care products and at one more for a raspberry, banana, dumbapple and sherbert smoothie before heading back home, happy and content, for now.

After another breathtaking ride, Cloud putted around his kitchen, putting things away. It was fun, being so domestic. Sort of. Yet another thing he'd have to get used to. It was alright.

He read some more, cooked some more, played music louder than he'd ever dared because no one else could hear it, took a shower. Day turned to evening and it got dark. His home was cozy and welcoming, however, and he didn't feel afraid or uncomfortable. He was livin' it up in Nibelheim, oh yeah.

He was swirling some noodles around on his fork when he heard a strange noise. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was a helicopter—that loud, intense swooshing sound. But... it only lasted for a few seconds, and then it was quiet. ...Too quiet. Where were the bugs and the birds?

That was creepy. After a minute or so, the typical sounds of wildlife still hadn't returned. Cloud thought, struck cold with fear: _Bessie_!

Cloud adjusted his pajamas, threw on some boots and thundered out of the house. What if something bad had happened to Bessie! Everything seemed normal—there was the soft glow of his house's lights on the grass outside, the sky, the trees, Bessie's pen. Cloud curiously walked to the gate and flipped up the lock, feeling for it in the darkness, letting himself in. It shut with the whine of rusted metal on metal, and it jarred his nerves. Gradually, he could hear the crickets' chirping again, and a few far-off hoots of owls.

"Bessie?" Cloud called. He didn't hear anything in response, but squinted and could make out her familiar form out there in the mud. She wasn't chewing grass (for once) she was looking up the sky, standing still.

Cloud rushed forward, a weight lifting off his chest. "Oh, thank Gaia," he breathed, giving her a fierce hug. "I was so worried, girl! Did you see anything, huh?"

Bessie continued to look up, and Cloud snuggled a bit closer to his cow friend, gazing up at the stars. They were so bright out here—he'd never get used to it. So many of them, too. It was calming.

Cloud exhaled, resting his cheek against his favorite black spot on Bessie's back. "That was weird. I'm sure glad I've got you, Bess."

Then, the sky went black. Cloud's mouth turned down in a frown as he gazed upwards. Complete blackness. He looked to the right—no—off in the distance he could see stars. Wh...

Cloud realized. There was something in the air directly over his house. Something _big_.

He became very, very afraid.

"...Bessie?" Cloud whispered, voice shaking. He was stuck, paralyzed, too frightened to move.

Then—_green_. Green, everywhere. Was the sky green? The air green? Cloud's arms flew up to protect his eyes, and he saw his shadow, by his feet. No... there was a very big green light over his head.

Cloud began to float. _Oh, no no no. _He knew this. He watched movies. He knew what was happening.

"Noooooooo!" Cloud finally cried. He wrapped his legs around Bessie's body and gripped onto the grass with both hands. It felt like his body was being sucked into the air by a great vacuum.

_Shit! Fuck, dammit, oh my Gaia—_

They struggled like that for a few seconds. Cloud clung to the ground almost futilely, his grip on the grass becoming less and less sturdy. Bessie let out a loud, panicked _moo_. Cloud shouted and gripped harder.

Of course he knew what was happening. He was being fucking _abducted by FUCKING ALIENS—THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO MOO, BESSIE!_

"Gah!" The grass he was holding onto ripped out of the ground, and he was left clutching clumps of dirt as he and his cow were lifted into the sky. Bessie kicked at him, panicking, and Cloud was thrown back to the ground. He hit it, smacking his head on the soft dirt but then was right back up in the air. His whole world was sideways, down was up and up was down and everything was so _green._

"_Bessie_!" Cloud screamed. Good ol' Bess was too far away now, a good fifty feet above him in the air. She was kicking and mooing; even from here Cloud could see her eyes wide and rolling in their sockets, the poor thing—

Cloud somersaulted. He rolled and thrashed and mimed swimming towards the ground, doing everything he could to stop his ascent towards the... towards the... towards the ALIEN FREAKING SPACESHIP overhead!

Stuff like this happened to old weirdos out in the middle of the countryside who only had their cow for company, not people like _him!_

...Oh. Dammit!

It was so freaky, being in the air like this—his body felt light, weightless. He saw Bessie reach the underside of the ship and vanish. He was about three-fourths of the way up, far above his house. He could see the lights still on in his windows. He pictured his bed, his comfy pillow. His food in his fridge. His parents, in Midgar. His friends. Reno. Everything.

This... this very well could be it. _It. _Like, The End.

He'd fight these extraterrestrial fuckers, alright! Cloud screamed one last time, half out of his mind with terror and was finally lifted into the UFO. The green light that had been coming from somewhere, nowhere, everywhere—it flickered off. Cloud was still floating though—he was in some big, metal area. He flipped in the air, trying to find something to hold onto, but there was nothing.

Bessie was nowhere to be found.

Cloud drifted through a hole in the wall—it was like a hallway except, except not—he was being _abducted by aliens, did he say that yet?_

He couldn't scream any more. He was quiet, too terrified to make even a squeak, afraid that if he did speak he'd be killed on the spot or something equally terrible. He turned a corner, still dangling in the air and threw out his arms, holding onto the corner. He gritted his teeth and held on, but it felt like there were invisible hands pulling on his feet and he just couldn't do it; his fingers scrabbled at the shiny, glittery metal uselessly.

He found his voice. "What the _hell! _Let me go!" He took a deep breath and wailed, tears springing from his eyes, "Nooooooooo!"

Kicking, punching the air and wildly thrashing, Cloud made it to a room, if it could be called that. It had a domed ceiling; above him he could see space. The stars...were moving—no, _he _was moving. The spaceship was moving. He wasn't in Nibelheim anymore.

The thought made him fight harder, and when Cloud realized his destination, a bed-looking thing with a bunch of restraints hooked up to it, his efforts doubled.

He was going to get probed and cut apart and raped and tortured and dissected and _killed! _"N-No," Cloud sobbed. He came to rest on the bed, but he couldn't dash away—he tried. The thick straps on the padded table sprang out and tightly bound him, arms straight out to the sides, legs together and straight down.

Then, everything was still and quiet. He stared up, through the glass ceiling and knew that, absolutely, he was fucked.

Nothing happened for a time. It could have been five minutes or half an hour, he couldn't tell. There was just silence, and whatever frightened, pathetic noises spilled from Cloud's lips. Was this their plan? Make him go insane with fear, tortured by his own thoughts—and then kill him, when he put up no resistance?

Well...it wouldn't work! He had to stay alert, stay on his game. Only then could he get the hell out of here and back to Gaia, somehow. Somehow.

Cloud wiggled in his restraints. No give. It was freaky; they had been totally able to move by themselves, and now they were totally inanimate. Shudder. He tried to think of a way out, a stealthy trick—but he had nothing. How many people had died here, before him? Many? A lot? Were other forms of life on other planets brutally tortured here?

He worried about Bessie. He worried for himself. Cloud worried until he couldn't worry any more and laid there, exhausted. Hadn't he said this was exactly what he wasn't going to do?

The sound of heavy footsteps came from his left, and Cloud became alert, rigid in his bonds. He trembled, praying they were... nice aliens, perhaps...

A door slid open with an electronic hiss, and Cloud gulped. The aliens that strode into the room, one after another, were strangely...humanoid. That didn't stop Cloud from recoiling as much as he could, of baring his teeth, of glaring at them.

They were tall. Taller than a normal human, he'd say. Again, strangely human—strong bodies, muscled frames. They all had wings, but just one. Two long antennae stood up tall, on each of their heads.

Terrifying.

One, with spiky dark hair, bounced over to the bed. Cloud whimpered and clenched his eyes shut, then peeked them open.

"Dyheg?" He said, voice low.

"Wh-What?" Cloud questioned, breath coming in short, sharp pants.

The alien stood, looking around at the others. "Gbeha! Iealwa vmerqueg! Popopopo!" He laughed. It was a definite _laugh_, but..h-holy shit—

"Don't kill me!" Cloud shrieked at all of them, trying to get loose. "I never did anything to you! Where's Bessie? What are you gonna do to me! Let me gooooo!"

During all of this the other three crowded closer, two on either side of his bed, peering down at him. Cloud stopped speaking, flushed with exertion and lay limp, watching them all with wary eyes.

They were all... strangely handsome, Cloud noted. All of them had big eyes, perhaps a bit bigger than a human's, but it didn't look too strange. Their irises were slitted, like a snake's, or a cat's, and their eyes _glowed. _Glowed!

"Trugz," One commented. He had a shock of auburn hair and bright red antennae that were wiggling this way and that, perhaps in curiosity. "Vmare plegdfa dawrd cahnbor gtyald..."

"Mooooo," said the spiky-haired one, sounding an awful lot like Bessie.

"Where's Bessie!" Cloud shot back, not taking any shit, especially none from sexy alien captives! "If you hurt her, I'll kill you all! She was just a defenseless cow!"

They all stared at him, laughing that stupid _popopopo_ laugh and glancing at each other. One of them, a dark-haired...man, yes, they were probably male, pulled some horrendous-looking device out of a storage container that he couldn't see.

"What is _that!_" Cloud shrieked, turning his head to the side when the man came close and bent over him with it. "Get it away—aagh!"

It turned out to be a thing that went into his ear, though. It stung, but just for a moment, and then he blinked up at them, eyes wide and brimming with angry and frightened tears.

"Can you understand us?" the alien asked.

Cloud's jaw dropped. Holy crap, he somehow could. "Y-Yeah," he stuttered back, except... it wasn't "Yeah." sounded more like more alien gibber-jabber. They were speaking his language...?

No, he realized. He was speaking _theirs_.

"Calm down," the tallest alien said, slowly, like he was talking to an animal. He was one of the more frightening ones, standing off to the side. He had long, silver hair that spilled onto the bed and brushed against Cloud's shin, and a full, black wing sticking out of his right side.

Cloud was frightened... and furious. "How do you expect me to calm down?" he shot back, struggling again. "You just _abducted_ me! You took my cow and you're probably going to kill me, a-and," he broke off, letting out a pained sob, his whole body jerking off the table with the force of it.

"He's highly advanced," the alien with the beard murmured to the redhead.

"Interesting," the redhead replied, smiling at Cloud.

"Hey, hey. You can really comprehend what we're saying, cantcha?" The spiky-haired one leaned over him and gave him a grin. "You're cool."

"Duh," Cloud answered, shying away with a grimace. "Let me go."

The alien answered easily, "Let us talk to you for a while, and then we'll return you to your home. Okay?"

Cloud was suspicious, and suspecting he was out of his mind. "...Okay."

They all looked pleased to hear it. "I believe some introductions are in order," the redhead began. When he spoke, Cloud saw a hint of his tongue—it was forked, like a snake's. Holy shit.

"My name is Genesis. It's a pleasure."

"Angeal," rumbled the one who stuck the thing in his ear.

"Zack!"

The silver-haired alien regarded Cloud for a long moment, before saying cooly, "Sephiroth."

"I'm..." Cloud began when he realized they were all looking at him expectantly, "I'm C-Cloud. Is my cow alright?"

Genesis frowned. "'Cow?' Oh... it's fine. Some of our men are studying her at the moment."

"_She,_" Cloud replied snootily. "And what do you mean, studying her? Is she alright? Don't hurt her!"

Zack patted his arm, ignoring the way Cloud jerked back, as much as he could. "_She_'s fine. Relax. Let us find out what we want to know, and she'll stay fine."

Cloud swallowed. "...L-Like what?"

He had to ask. A minute later Cloud was released from the restraints but was butt naked, shivering and trying to cover himself from four sets of scrutinizing eyes.

"St—stop it," Cloud protested, trying to jerk back when Sephiroth grabbed his wrist and lifted his arms, rolling them through some simple movements.

"I won't hurt you," the alien responded, nodding at Genesis, who was taking notes on a clipboard and glancing from Cloud to a thick manual and back.

The aliens examined Cloud's teeth, his mouth, his ears, his hair. They poked and prodded his collarbone, shoulders, back, arms, fingers, hands and elbows. His feet and knees and hips were carefully documented, and then— then Cloud had to make them stop.

"What are you doing!" Cloud squawked, when Angeal gently but firmly pushed him onto his back and tried to spread his legs. "Stop it!"

"Hmm," Zack hummed. "This is the first species we've come across that can really talk to us. The first to feel shy about reproductive organs, too. I like him."

"I'm right _here_," Cloud snarled, still fighting with Angeal. "St-Stop it!" But Angeal's strength easily eclipsed his own, and the man spread him wide, holding his feet far out to the side. All four crowded around Angeal to peer at his privates, and, goddamn it, they were called privates for a _reason_!

"Noooo," Cloud moaned in embarrassment, closing his eyes and wishing he were dead. They lifted him up a bit higher and turned things this way and that, and spread his cheeks, making him shiver at the chilly spaceship air on a place it definitely didn't belong. He lifted his head as best he could and peered down at the four aliens taking notes of his anatomy and yelped, "Woah!"

They all looked at him, confused, and Cloud tried to scramble away. "No probing! No probing!"

"...Probing?" Zack questioned, lips turning down in a pout.

Genesis's one antenna had been _way _too close for comfort, intentional or not! They all seemed to have read his thought somehow, because they started laughing.

"Kinky," Genesis murmured. He gave Cloud's bottom a light swat and they allowed Cloud to scurry into his pajamas, burning red. Cloud didn't want to admit it, but once he got over the fact that these guys were aliens and he was in a spaceship...that had been kind of _interesting_. Ho ho ho.

"Wh-What else do you want to know?"

Angeal put a new page on his clipboard. "Tell us about your society."

Cloud tilted his head. "What about it?"

"Is it predominately agricultural? Industrialized? What kind of governments do you have? That sort of thing," Sephiroth offered. He and Genesis were comparing notes.

Cloud thought for a second, then started talking. He told these aliens everything he could think of. He compared life in the city to life in the country, and even chatted about himself a little. He described in detail other countries, like Wutai, and their unique cultures. He spoke of the technology they had, from what every individual had, like a cell phone, laptop and television, to bigger things, like buildings, amusement parks, and electronically regulated stock markets. They seemed extremely interested in the internet, and ideas of democracy, liberty, unalienable human rights. Zack kept nodding at him, engrossed, and Cloud felt confident enough to go on.

When he finished, he was silent for a while as all four of them concentrated on writing. Sephiroth was the first to finish and smiled at him. His eyes were green, so green, and Cloud felt a little bit lost when he looked into them. "I'm pleased to tell you that you have a highly advanced society," he said, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. "In some aspects, anyway. Be proud."

"I am proud," Cloud said nervously, helplessly smiling back. The four of them chatted among themselves, too quiet for Cloud to really hear, and he relaxed, flopping back on the bed. This time, the restraints stayed slack.

He was so damn exhausted. Was all this...real? He must have been losing his mind. Abducted by aliens...yeah right. He had fought and been tense and worried this whole time—he let himself relax, sinking into the padding of the table. He thought about his captors. Even with antennas, wings and creepy, slitted tongues, they were gorgeous. Perfect, handsome features, thick, soft-looking hair in amazing shades of color, and amazing sculpted bodies. They were like a whole race of supermodels...that thought made Cloud giggle to himself.

"Oh, look," Zack cooed some time later, patting the dozing blond on the cheek. "He's tired."

"Stoppit," Cloud murmured, weakly slapping at the alien's hands.

He heard them talk a little bit more. "C'mon," he heard a deep voice say, by his ear, and Cloud was scooped up and held against a warm chest, head balanced against a strong shoulder. They walked out of the domed room, carrying their human captive.

Cloud did his best to wake up and squinted his eyes, realizing that Angeal's shoulder was, in fact, a very comfy place to be. The man had a white wing, he and Zack both did, and some of the feathers brushed against him from time to time.

They weren't bad aliens, Cloud supposed, listening to them chat and rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. They were just scary, about eight feet tall, freakishly strong, and had some mysterious animal characteristics. He could deal with that. So long as they didn't hurt him and left Bessie the hell alone, anyway.

Angeal's one hand patted Cloud's back soothingly. "This is our ship," he explained. "It's known as the Shin-Ra. We come from the planet called Junon, a few hundred lightyears away. It's our job to explore the universe and document other forms of life."

"Wow," Cloud marveled, wrapping an arm around the man's neck and looking this way and that. He could see aliens in uniforms bustling around, running from large computers to other, larger computers.

Zack asked, ruffling his hair, "Pretty cool, huh?"

Genesis gave him the tour, pointing out different wings and rooms as they walked by. There was the dissection room (cringe), a few incubating laboratories, a shedding room (Cloud didn't want to know), a big hospital and sick bay, a cafeteria, library, and much more. Cloud came to the conclusion that UFOs were awesome.

"So," Zack said, grinning at the way Cloud was curiously inspecting one of Angeal's antenna, tapping it with the pad of his finger, "Tell us about yourself, Cloud."

"I'm not that exciting," the blond answered, leaving Angeal's poor antenna alone and playing with his unnaturally large ear instead. "I grew up in Midgar, that city I told you about. I moved out to Nibelheim a few weeks ago."

Angeal asked, shifting Cloud a little so he could get a better grip, "Why did you move?"

"Ah..." Cloud hesitated. "My parents didn't approve of some of my...lifestyle choices and kicked me out. I lived with my, um, friend for a while, but now we're not friends. I really needed to get away from all of that."

"...Gotcha," Genesis said, giving him an amused look that let Cloud know they knew exactly what he was talking about. Well then.

They approached a wing far away from where Cloud had originally been brought. Angeal set Cloud, who was by now wide awake, on his feet, and Zack took his hand, not seeming to find anything awkward about it. In fact, Sephiroth and Genesis were holding hands. Must be an Alien thing. Cloud shrugged and hurried inside, dragging Zack behind him. There, in the center of the room, was his cow!

"Bessie!" Cloud shouted joyfully. Bessie didn't recognize it, because Cloud was still speaking alien, but when Cloud gave her a great hug she let out a happy moo. Again, maybe she just had to be milked, but... Cloud would interpret her moos however the hell he wanted, thank you very much.

"This is a cow," Cloud said excitedly. "I had never seen one in person before I moved out to Nibelheim. She's so great." He kissed her stinky cow head, and Bessie blinked at him. Awww, precious.

Now that he was satisfied that Bessie was okay, Cloud accompanied his alien buddies to the cafeteria. They fed him something that looked an awful lot like lobster-curry pudding but tasted nothing of the sort. He just hoped he wasn't eating some foreign species.

"What's life like on your home planet?" he asked, trying out all the alien food that they kept feeding him. They seemed excited to have someone around who could talk to them and knew nothing of their lifestyle.

"It's nice," Zack said, smiling. "Really advanced. We're all part of the military, back home."

"Wow."

"Yeah. We have everything necessary to blow your planet to pieces on board, if we needed to."

The blond gave Genesis an alarmed look. The alien reached out and patted his head, slitted tongue peeking out from between his lips again. "Don't worry. If we wanted to destroy your planet, we would have done so by now."

After an awkward, nervous laugh on Cloud's part, Zack continued telling him about life on Junon. "There's lots of pretty ladies," he said, winking. "But none of them are as pretty as you."

Cloud blushed to the roots of his hair, something that the aliens already said was an interesting little characteristic of Gaia-lings that they hadn't seen anywhere else. "O-Oh," he squeaked. "Thank you."

They seemed to be waiting for something, and Cloud offered hesitantly, "You guys are way hotter than anyone I've seen on my planet. ...Just saying."

That seemed to amuse them all, and conversation continued. Apparently Junon was very industrial, with a huge environmental movement run by terrorists—known as AVALANCHE—fighting Shin-Ra, the company the UFO was named after. His alien friends weren't just _any _members of the military; Sephiroth was the _General, _and all of them were extremely, extremely high ranking. That must have been why they were the ones to come examine the—possibly lethal—life form they sucked into their ship to study.

They told him about things like Mako, a substance from the ground that they pumped into the blood streams of all the fighters. It made them super strong and gave their eyes that captivating glowing effect.

Cloud sat there, dazed, after hearing all this information. Wow... he really wasn't dreaming all this up?

Sephiroth asked, lips almost curved into a smile, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I must be dreaming... and I'm wondering why you are telling me all this. Aren't you afraid I could go tell everyone on Gaia?"

"I don't think anyone would believe you if you did, Spiky." Zack laughed—_popopopopo—_and ruffled his hair.

They eventually left, giving their trays to a man named Kunsel who had a pretty black wing like Genesis's and cute, short little antennae.

They walked around, chatting and subtly flirting (and sometimes not-so-subtly; because _really_, how often did a guy have the chance to talk to super sexy _aliens_?). Cloud was introduced to a variety of people on the ship—Elena, a female that still had a good foot and a half on Cloud, Tseng, a man with a wing so small it looked like a normal bird's wing on Gaia. That was good though, they said, and meant Tseng was naturally excellent at stealth and sneaky things. Cloud met Lazard, the man in charge of the whole ship, who formally shook his hand and said he was overjoyed to find sentient life, especially life that complimented him on his outfit.

But, eventually Shin-Ra had to move on to other planets, and they circled back to hover above Gaia, right over Cloud's house.

Cloud sadly looked at his new friends, standing beside Bessie in what was the transporter room, used to beam people out of the ship and onto the ground. He hadn't known them very long, and they were really scary in the beginning, but... he'd miss them. They were more fun, more exciting, more _right_ than anyone he could hope to find back down on Gaia.

"Bye, Spiky," Zack said, looking sad. He reached out and tugged Cloud's earpiece out of his ear. There they were, just alien and Gaia-ling again, unable to communicate. So different. From totally different worlds—literally.

Cloud had to look away. He sniffled, shoulders trembling with the effort to hold back tears. "I'll miss you guys," he said, voice trembling, even though they couldn't understand him. He reached out, hoping for a last hug or handshake or something, before he had to go.

He wasn't expecting to be lifted off his feet and crushed in a huge group hug by all of them, but he wasn't complaining.

"Tbun woclwr vut ubunma r-r-ratd, Klowd," Zack said into Cloud's hair, sounding awfully upset. Cloud sniffled and looked up at Genesis, as the man framed his face with his hands. His antennae were drooping, and somehow it was the cutest damn thing he'd seen in a long while. Someone's hand slipped up his shirt and rubbed his back soothingly. He _certainly _wasn't expecting to be kissed by Genesis, but it happened, and he wasn't complaining _then_, either.

Kissing an alien was definitely something new, Cloud decided. The man's tongue was larger than a human's, and slitted in half. It was different, but erotic, once Genesis prodded his mouth open with a little nibble at his bottom lip. Cloud's hands sunk into fluffy red hair and played with the base of the man's antennae, doing his best to keep up. Genesis pulled away and Cloud was swept into a kiss by the other three men in turn.

It was almost freaky, how each part of their tongues could move basically independently of the other, and how, just after their brief observation of him, seemed to know all the right places to nip at and brush against.

They eventually set Cloud down, looking awfully smug.

"Buqual...vunthir mazerhg, Klowd," Sephiroth murmured, right into his ear. Cloud shuddered and turned his face, placing a few desperate kisses to the man's cheeks, jaw and nose, knowing he really, truly, had to go.

"I love it when you say my name, Sephiroth," he breathed. The silver-haired man seemed pleased to hear it, whatever he thought Cloud said.

Zack gave him and Bessie a gentle nudge towards the transporter. Cloud swallowed and helped Bessie into it. After a few vertigo-inducing seconds Cloud opened his eyes—there he was on the ground, beside his house. His lights were still on. He could see, through the window, his air conditioner stirring the nearby curtains.

Nothing had changed, huh.

He turned around. There they were. Cloud patted Bessie's head and bowed low, thanking all four for the experience, even though it had been largely terrifying. "Bye Zack," he said, looking the youngest alien in the eye. "Bye Genesis. Bye Sephiroth. Bye Angeal. I'll miss you all."

They smiled, and Cloud smiled. Bessie mooed. That was his cue. He took a step towards his home, then faltered. Could... could he really go home to his solitary, country bumpkin life? Could he? _Could he_?

Cloud spun on his heel and ran across the grass, stumbling in the dark but pressing on all the same. He couldn't abandon his alien invaders. He didn't know them that well, but. They felt right. Everything felt right. He latched onto the closest one, Angeal, and locked his arms around the man's waist.

"Take me with you," Cloud pleaded, looking up into his surprised blue eyes. "There's nothing for me here. I have no more family, I have no friends..."

Angeal might not have understood what he was saying exactly, but he must have gotten the gist. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the top of Cloud's hair, squeezing his hand. "Qitbak!" He said to the others. Zack said something into a handheld device, and someone covered Cloud's eyes in time for the huge green light to flick back on so he wouldn't be blinded.

They started rising into the air again, but this time, Cloud wasn't afraid. He was warm and safe in his friends' arms, his _alien _friends' arms. His house got smaller and Cloud looked down at his feet, watching Gaia disappear, knowing he'd never come back.

It... it was okay. He was moving on to bigger and better things. He would be happy with Zack, Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis, even if it was on a different planet. He could tell.

"Bye Bessie!" Cloud hollered. "Bye, girl! Take care of yourself!"

"Moooo," was Bessie's response. She may have needed a milking, but this time Cloud chose to take it as, _Goodbye, Cloud. I'll be fine. Enjoy the rest of your life up there._

* * *

><p>"Aliens? Pssh."<p>

"Quiet," Rude grunted, turning up the volume. "You should pay attention."

"Why's that?"

"It's Cloud."

"Huh?" Reno dropped his fork onto his plate and rolled off his stomach, peering at the television. A news reporter was standing in front of a small little house. _Nibelheim Man Abducted by Aliens? _the caption read.

"Hello, and welcome to the six o'clock news," the woman began in a stern voice. "Reports from the small town of Nibelheim of an 'alien abduction' have been causing a stir nationwide. Tuesday afternoon a local resident, Cloud Strife—" the blond's picture flashed on screen, "—was seen in the center of town. The next day, the local mailman found him nowhere in sight, as well as strange markings in the cornfields nearby. Strife's electricity, air conditioner and appliances were on, his motorcycle in the driveway, a half-eaten dinner on the table, and no signs of a struggle could be found by local police. With me is local resident Tifa Lockhart, who claims she saw a UFO the night of the abduction."

"I saw a large, circular _thing_ above Cloud's house," said a pretty girl, no more than nineteen. "I live in the closest house to his. I saw it with my own eyes. A big green light came out from underneath it, and I saw Cloud and a cow being lifted up!"

The reporter nodded and looked back at the camera. "Cloud's cow, identified as 'Bessie' by her nametag, was spotted Wednesday morning in a neighboring farmer's pen, a milking stool and pail along with her. Local police are investigating the matter. Wherever Cloud Strife is, we can only hope that he's alive, and will show up soon. More on this at eleven. Thank you."

Reno stared at the television, then Rude, for a long while. He eventually stood and snatched the remote out of the man's hands. "A-Aliens? Yeah right. I'm sure the guy's just fine." He jabbed the power button, plunging the screen into darkness, and tossed the remote onto the couch. "He's probably hiding somewhere, thinkin' this is fuckin' funny. Hmph."

Reno exited the room with a huff, and that was the end of that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! Watch your cows tonight, okay? That's an order, SOLDIER!<strong>


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